Her First Memory

Her earliest memory is riding in a car in this big room. She can remember sitting in the middle of the back seat and leaning up between her mommy and daddy. She remembers them laughing and running their hands all over the front of the car. The mood was so happy.

Looking back, she knows they had just gotten a brand new car, a 1968 Chevrolet Impala, and they were driving it off the showroom floor through the parking deck.

She doesn’t remember much more until kindergarden. Woodrow Wilson Elementary School, Cicero, Illinois. She was so excited!!

Mommy walked her to school that morning before heading off to her first day at work. Mommy would be working at the local candy factory and wouldn’t get home until about 30 minutes after her little girl. This made her little girl scared, but she couldn’t be scared right now, she was on her way to school.Once at school and settled in she decided that she really loved Miss Jackson. Miss Jackson wasn’t much taller than she was and she was so loving and soft spoken. She decided that Alice cried way too much and Scott was really cute.After a day of reading and snacks, playing and naps, it was time to head home. She had to walk almost 3 full blocks and she was scared. Mommy wouldn’t be holding her hand, she was still at work. How the little girl hated that!

With as much boldness as a barely 5 year old could muster up, she got her sweater and headed out of the school. She turned to the left with many of the other students and made it to the end of the first block. So far so good. The crossing guard held up his sign, made sure it was safe and off she went. The crowd thinned a little as she made her way to the end of the next block. She noticed him then…it was Scott!! He had the whitest hair she’d ever seen and she could hardly take her eyes off of it. She picked up the pace and by the end of the second block she’d caught up to Scott. He didn’t notice her, but that was okay. He turned to the left to go home and she pressed forward. Half a block to go…

The crossing guard again made it safe to cross and when she reached the other side, she lifted her hand to chest. Yep, it was still there. Her door key.

Earlier that morning, Mommy had tied the key to a string and then put a knot in the string and put it around her neck.

“Debbie, you can’t let anybody know you have this key around your neck.”

“Okay, Mommy. I wish you would be home when I got here.”

“I wish I could too..but you’re a big girl now and it will only be for a few minutes. Keep the key around your neck until you get up to our apartment, then take it off and let yourself in. Do you remember how to unlock the door?”

“Uh huh.” Pouting. Trembling lip. So scared.

“When you get inside, close the door and lock all three locks. Do you remember how?”

“Uh huh.” Tears this time.

“Turn on Captain Kangaroo and before you know it, I’ll be home. Remember not to go near the door and don’t open it for anybody if they knock. Daddy and Mommy have their own key and they can unlock the door for themselves. Okay?”

“Uh huh. Please don’t go to work!!!”

“I have to.”

“Why!!??”

“I just do.”

She entered the apartment building and began the climb up three flights of stairs. Past the mailboxes. Up the first flight. Long hallways, lots of doors, really scared.

She was afraid of what she’d find on the next set of stairs. Sometimes old, dirty men would be lying on these steps not moving..and they smelled so bad!!! But this time, it was all clear.

Her heart pounding, she made it up the second set of stairs and raced up the third!! Running to the very end of the hall she took the key from around her neck and put it in the keyhole. A turn and a click and she was inside. Out of breath, she locked all three locks and began to cry. She was home, but it was so quiet. There were no yummy smells coming from the kitchen. There was no one to play with. She went over to the tv and turned it on. Flipping the channels, she found Captain Kangaroo and sat on the couch. No one to share her day with. No one to tell about how much and how loud Alice could cry. No one to tell about Scott and beautiful his white hair was. Just quiet…and when you’re barely 5, the quiet is scary and 30 minutes is such a long time!

Is this how it was going to be from now on? If so, maybe she’d just quit school, then Mommy could quit her job and then she could stay home and they could play together and make grilled cheese and tomato soup. But then she wouldn’t get to see Scott, and he really did have beautiful white hair……..